Why Narcissists Never Let You Go

Before we talk about the Narcissist and why they won't ever let you go, firstly we must discuss why they attach deeply to you when they don't care one bit about you anyway. What prompts the narcissist to keep chasing you and what is it exactly they want? Let's look into the mind of the narcissist to see how they were created like this and what they use to keep themselves going.

Childhood Trauma Can Create A Narcissist

When we talk about narcissists we are essentially discussing people who experienced a deep trauma or usually a series of traumas that changed the way they think and behave during their early childhood. Sometimes, and this can't be proved, a soul can arrive on earth carrying the trauma already, meaning it occurred sometime before they decided to reincarnate here. Whatever way the trauma occurs, the narcissist has undergone meaningful problems which caused them to disassociate with their own soul and therefore become less human.

What I mean by less human is the fact that they decided to no longer associate with their soul essence, probably because it was too painful, and they live their life without looking back at the past or analysing themself in any way whatsoever. This is Key to the narcissist and how they can treat other people so badly and never worry about it. They have no conscience, like a sociopath, and they have no empathy. They are stone cold dead on the inside and their soul connection has wasted away. What are we anyway without our soul? A narcissist, and yes it isn't pretty.

You may now ask how can the narcissist not analyse their own life experiences as they go through them? This is the trick of the narc, the tactic they use in order to never be hurt again. You can't hurt a person meaningfully when they cut off their inner feelings that link them to soul. Like we said, in order to stop whatever pain assailed them during their deep trauma, they cut the soul link and began to weaponize their thinking, making all other people "the enemy". This soul cut is also what makes them unchangeable over time, meaning they do not change or grow over time like a normal person does, they do not feel life as we do, and they never learn any lessons from their appalling behaviour.

Therefore they simply get through life in a shallow manner and all that matters to them is obtaining "supply" - or attention and love. They do not ever reciprocate it back to the giver; they are only interested in taking it. And this is why it is 100% toxic to associate with a narcissist. It all seems like a good idea to them, yet their way of surviving in the universe is completely self defensive. It is actually a product of their fear, but they can never look back to see this. In face, a narcissist can never remember the original traumas that made them this way to begin with. All they know is they can never feel their soul, they do not remember they had a soul, and that they did this to themself to begin with. They have no idea of this. What they do know is that other people are different to them, in what they beleive is an inferior way, which is why they are often cynical to anyone who shows empathy or compassion. They hate these qualities because they don't have them.

A normal person with a healthy psyche can never WIN against a narc. You cannot even make them look at themself, or see any fault on their side. All they do is move and keep repeating the same errors. They will never give in to you, and have no soul to tell them they are sorry. You have to know they do not feel sorrow. They do not ever regret it, they only regret being caught out, or losing a good source of supply. But then again they have their other supply waiting in the wings, so even that sorry is short lived. Let's look more at supply.

Narcissists Are Obsessed With Supply

You, in the narc relationship, must be providing the "narcissistic supply" and this is why you are associated with the narcissist. Or, you are in a family growing up with narcissists, which puts you in a different situation with them entirely (which I will write about later). You are either the friend or unluckily the lover of the narcissist, and this means they want your supply. So what exactly do we mean by this?

The supply covers all the wonderful, positive things you do for this person that keeps them feeling that they exist and like they are worth something. You provide them with love, support, attention, and all of this positive stuff that people normally give in a relationship but you are not actually in a mutually equal relationship where there is reciprocity. Reciprocity is where both people give and take equally, help each other, love and support each other. Yet the narcissist is only about take and has no interest in giving, except during the love bombing stage of the relationship where they try to get you hooked with fake shows of love. But after that stage is over, you have to love them enough to give your all while they start to gaslight, ignore, criticize, fake future and eventually discard you. They do all of this for one reason - supply. As they give you this cruel treatment, your mind is endlessly thinking about them in confusion and sadness, end energetically this feeds them (like a vampire). This is exactly the supply they are mining from you.

The narcissist is so obsessed with supply they even keep extra supply at all times on the side. They may not be cheating (yet) but they have what is termed a "narcissistic harem" on the side containing admirers and wannabe partners who offer them extra supply and who also may be used to triangulate you or as a "flying monkey" (to help smear you). When they eventually discard and leave you behind, usually temporarily, they turn to this fresh, new supply for support, love, admiration and attention. THEY MUST HAVE SUPPLY AT ALL TIMES.

This is THE golden rule of the narcissist. The narcissist is 100% unable to love themself or give themself love, support or attention because they are separated from their own soul, so it must come from outside, from another. They basically stop existing if the supply is gone, and this is why they spend their whole life hunting and keeping supply no matter what. It doesn't matter the person, their age, their nationality, their looks, or sometimes their gender. They need supply. You gave them supply. So they will never let you go. You belong to them.

Why A Narc Will Never Let You Go

This is where we have the attachment problem of demanding a narcissist let you go; it will never happen. Can we say "stalking" at this point? A narcissist has even weaponized their tactics at getting you back, so the first few times this happens you may not even realise they have no empathy and care nothing for you except your supply, which is their oxygen. Further, they have developed a means to keep you in the picture at all costs and know your weaknesses. They have especially taken note of all psychological weaknesses just so they can use them against you at this stage. They have done this same thing over and over with past sources of supply, remember. Even if they have already ruthlessly smeared you and discarded you they have not really let you go, and this is the absolute truth.

They will always wait around on the sidelines waiting for the right time to Hoover you up again. They have the most amazing array of sorry statements, the "I love you" statements, the claims they are still learning and that you showed them the light, and any other lie they can tell you using your weaknesses. As you go through these cycles with your narcissist, from love bombing to gaslighting, to ignoring, smearing, discarding, and finally to the hoover, you will notice they NEVER CHANGE. You will never notice them even try. This means eventually you will get over your painful love for them and try to move on.

You will over time become accustomed to the hoover and eventually they will run out of apologies. They keep trying to use the same ones that worked in the past, then endlessly try to come up with ways to impress you, and narcissists sure are inventive. Any little whiff that you are beginning to forgive them will thrill them but they will never stop. This is the stage where they are stalking you online, calling your phone, emailing, texting, and use their flying monkeys to harass you as well. They do all they can to remind you of how wonderful it was when you first met and try to blot out all of the trauma they have caused you - because remember the trauma they did you was ultimately your fault, or so they want you to believe. And no one else will ever love you the way they did, which by the way is perhaps their most persistent lie. You have to be soft in the head if you keep believing that one, no matter how nice it sounds.

Why, you might wonder, do they never let you go? It is their obsession with supply, and supply is the only thing they can get that makes them exist. They forever keep you in their harem of past conquests for when their present supply dries up, as it always does at some point. So as per usual the narc is trying to rekindle an old supply that they deem is still theirs. They have NO intention of ever letting you get away or find another true love, or anything nice like that.

They are the most happy if they've fooled some poor person into a marriage and they will keep that going forever if they can. Some weaker souls stay in these marriages for the long term, becoming so beaten down daily by the dismissive torture of the narcissist, all the whilst the narc appears kind and loving to others. They are quite charming to those on the outside, so obsessed are they with their own reputation. But they will cruelly smear their longtime suffering partner, making out they are impossible to live with just to ensure the partner never has a single friend. Then it can be nearly impossible for said partner to ever leave. Don't waste your life this way. You deserve real happiness and love, so please try to get away.

Go "No Contact" To Be Rid Of Them Forever

The only way to escape this emotional rapist is to go "no contact" and walk away just like that. This means never respond to them or their hoovers and never contact them again in any way, even online. You need to ignore them, their hoovers and flying monkeys, and simply exist like you never knew them or else they will never stop. You will need to quietly heal from their abuse and get rid of all the false memories of joy they gave you.

Once you "belong" to them they figure you always belong to them, so you have to show them this is untrue. Then they can do nothing to the strong ones who have escaped their grip for good. You will probably need to cut ties with mutual friends or anyone associating with the narcissist. If they are on the narcissist's side or faithful to them, they are not on your side. Write them off too. Eventually you can heal and get some piece of mind. Don't you deserve that?

Below are some more articles on this topic:
Do You Know A Narcissist? 11 Traits of the Narcissist
Loving The Narcissist - The 6 Stages of a Narcissistic Love Relationship
Why Narcissists Can Never Let You Go
The 6 Types Of People Who Attract Narcissists
Narcissistic Personality Disorder: 9 Symptoms
Narcissistic Love-Bombing & Addiction
Is Compassion For The Narcissist Possible?

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